Fox's Den

Fears

2006-11-12T00:17:00.000-08:00

Some things that i have been trying to hide, to deny, to not face it is starting to surface. My greatest fear, it's coming true. I tried to paint a beautiful picture over it, tried to fill up the spaces in between. The more i try, the more tired i felt but still i hung on even if hope was as thin as a wire. Perhaps it was me who didn't do a good job at the start, i took it all for granted and now it's more or less gone. No matter how hard i want to believe that it's not happening, everything is drifting apart. How i miss the days before, if only the sands of time could flow back, i would give my all to strengthen the bond we shared.

I'm sorry...

No matter what happens...these memories will always be kept in my heart...

School's over

2006-10-14T22:03:00.000-07:00

Another week just zipped by, and exams aren't round the corner anymore, it HERE!!! This semester was a hectic yet enjoyable one. I guess new bonds were formed with the class. I used to say that i can't blend in well, perhaps it's cause i never really took the time to get to know them. I have to say i am really glad i did. Well there is still another semester to go next year but it would be a very short one, so am going make the best out it.

Would like to say a very BIG THANK U to my group members for making the last two insanely heavy presentation a big success. Great team work! I was pretty worried initally, as all of us has really different working styles but we managed to pull it off and made an impact! Even Ms Kamala who's known for being one of the most difficult lecturers to please left us this comment.

"NYP's SHS lecturers all know that i am not the easiest person to please, and they know when i say a student is good, they usually get distinction or A. So now i say to your group, your presentation was very well done. You should know where your grades stand now"

On that day she seem like she got out of the wrong side of her bed, totally in a bad mood. At first we thought we kinda screwed this presentation up but the moment she gave her comments, Ying Bing nearly teared and i couldn't hold back and kinda high 5 my group members! As for Ms Pauline's presentation, we were glad that she didn't have much to say as we all know nothing good comes out of her. So keeping her peace is a blessing indeed.

(Just before presentation...stonning)

(Making some final changes)

(Candid shot! *she's so gonna hit me when she sees this)

(Doing some rehersals)

( The end...*yawns* we all need to clear our sleep debts)

Let's talk bout sex

2006-10-07T21:58:00.000-07:00

Had a rather interesting tutorial on mental health, and it was on sexuality. Often when this word "sexuality" is mentioned, the older generation would be very "hush hush" about it and the younger generation would either blush and try to turn away from it or completely ignorant towards the topic (which is pretty rare but there are still that handful of innocent minds). Sex is still a taboo word even during the 21st century for some of us.

I remembered when i was younger, i had to find out bout this on my own. *yes, it includes stumbling upon pornographic sites if you all are wondering* but hey, how many parents would actually sit down and say "Son/Daughter, lets talk bout sex" (not in the dirty way mind you!) If there were any parents who did that, I salute you man/woman!!!

Well our lecturer was teaching us what is sexuality to us in the healthcare line. And here's a definition that i personally think that it's very good.

'Sex is one of the most powerful restorative experiences a human can enjoy, but conversely, it can be one of the most destructive damage.'

* those who agree say i*

Well we did a brain storming session to determine what quality sex is and here's the list.

-Great pleasure

-Openess

-Closeness

-Relaxing

-Warmth

-Harmonious

-Loving

-Tenderness

-Caring

-Touch

-Entwined

-Participation

So to people out there, sex isn't just about a penis inside a virgina or elsewhere and just going through the motion of doing "IT" (that's what many like to say, do it do it -_-...even nike says so) --This message is brought to you from your very own sex guru wannabe-- *haha ok lame*

Happy Birthday Vicky

2006-09-24T04:16:00.000-07:00

Haha how could i let this slip my mind, Happy 19th Birthday Vicky!!! All da best in the states yea! Hope to see you soon in Christmas back in HK!

Haha well would love to get you a cake but i guess we just got to make do with this one yea? Haha when u are back in HK, would get you a cake then =)

Was reading a friend's blog when i came across this story. Interesting

A student asks a teacher, "What is love?" The teacher said, "In order to answer your question, go to the padi field and choose the biggest padi and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick." The student went to the field, went through first row, saw one big padi, but he wonders... maybe there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one... but maybe there is a even bigger one waiting for him. Later, when he finished more than half of the padi field, he starts to realize that the padi is not as big as the previous one he saw, and he knows he has missed the biggest one, and regrets. So, he ended up going back to the teacher with an empty hand.The teacher told him, "...this is love... you keep looking for a better one, but when it's too late, you realise you have already missed the person....""What is marriage then?" the student asked. The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick. "The student went to the corn field, and this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake; when he reaches the middle of the field, he picks one medium corn that he feels satisfied with, and goes back to the teacher.The teacher told him, "this time when you were looking for a corn.... you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... and this is marriage."

I guess sometimes in life we go about searching too hard and often disappointing ourselves when actually there is someone or something out there for us. Often blinded and thinking the grass is greener on the other side.

Bring out the sunshine

2006-09-24T01:52:00.000-07:00

Finally am cured of my flu and blasted sore throat. Always tempted all the time by my friends in school. Eating laksa, fried food, chips and worse of all...CHOCOLATES...-_- (sian1/2).

(My miracle syrup)

This week wasn't as bad as the last one cause our presentations are more or less covered well. And after consulting the lecturers and confirmed that we are on the right track, managed to heave a sigh of relief. (this is a popular phrase in primary level composition) Passed my first skill assessment test, wasn't too difficult. Half the time i was there trying to help Maiya as we were assessed in pairs. Both of us managed to ballot the question we wanted so things were smooth sailing.

(Professional bloodsuckers)

Was out pubbing with my close friends, was at the Balcony. Really nice place though the drinks are tad bit expensive. We ordered Sex on the Beach (it's a drink if you are thinking otherwise) shots and all of us felt kinda cheated because it tasted like some fruit punch in a shooter glass...

Our reaction : (-_-)

We all ordered a second drink and started to pass our drinks around so all of us could have a taste of the different concoctions. I got the Boston beach party which had a odd after taste...some said cough syrup and another said caffine. For me = Unable to identify. Had a great night of laughter and jokes. *sigh* got my "fortunate red letter" from our dearest MINDEF...*yikes* was so demoralised when i say that freaking fugly word. Most of my friends are getting out of the army and now i am going in. Sucks...they have to rub it in and say, "oh what's army man, i couldn't recall"...how i wish i could just put my hands around their necks and it's not going to be in a very good way.

Have not been rollerblading for ages, finally joined up with Clement, Huimin and Jieying to East Coast Park to rollerblade. It was great fun, we all carried our bags hoping there would be lockers available for us. And to our horror, there was only one left...once again reaction = (-_-) Anyways we spent quite a while with our blades ON trying to squeeze all the bags into the pathetically small locker. Ultimately we had to make a sacrifice, and Jie Ying had to carry her bag along to blade.

(Stylo blades!)

Well i really miss blading and kinda came to a conclusion that i would try my best to make blading an weekly affair. Nice sport and great company, what more could i ask for =)

(Had a great time, thanks guys)

Breaking free

2006-09-17T00:57:00.000-07:00

After many days of late nights and terrible sleep. My immune system finally gave way and succumbed to the flu bug. Been thinking a lot about project, so much to read especially on the pathophysiology for heat disorders. Thank goodness i have a friend to guide me through. *thanks Kevin!* Each time when i am just lying on my bed trying to sleep, images of the notes and pathophysiology keeps ringing in the little skull of mine. *yikes i am going insane* but also thanks to *strawberry bing* for helping me out to catch some minor details that i missed out. *sniff* arrrghh damn this stupid blocked nose. Well now i am down with one and two more projects to go.

Oncology: 30% done
Emergency: 85% done
Mental health: 95% done
(Wow thats really good progress)

Ok some may be wondering if i actually went for the race or not. Well i didnt. Been thinking and praying a lot about it and well i guess i got my answer = The flu bug. I feel ill the day before the race. Anyways it's all over, i don't consider myself a part of them anymore neither do they see me as one of them. Recently one of them asked me why did i outcast them, and i really wonder which way did it begin with. They still have the cheek to ask me this! Utterly disappointed, i won't be surprised if there is any bad word about me spreading around now. *Sigh...focus focus* got to work toward what i planned, tough but i'm on it.

(Messing around during lab lessons)

Fatigue

2006-09-09T23:28:00.000-07:00

Been a while since i last updated. Am simply just swarmed by many presentation to complete.

Final Year Project = Done
Oncology presentation = Working on it
Critical care presentation = Working on it
Mental Health presentation = Working on it

These presentation weighs quite heavily. Almost everyday after school would be project meetings. I just don't understand why can't Final Year Project not be given co-currently with the other projects. We are seriously over-burnt. Have not been attending training recently due to my tight schedule and partially because i just don't feel like i belong in there. In the past i have been giving so much for the team and all the contributions were for naught.

IVP is just next week. I have not trained for close to 2 months. What's the point in running for a team that never regarded you as a teammate. It's only when there's a need for me, i would be called upon. Whenever my use expires, i would be cast aside. Besides, i am just going to go to the meet and lose. Maybe this is really the time to say "i quit". From this day on, i wash my hands clean off them. I would just concentrate on my final year and work towards the goal that i set.

A very big thank you to Students Union for long service award during the comissioning. A very nice gift indeed, wishing the new exco all the best in their future endeavors. Many thanks to my friends who were there to hear me out and lift me up during these few days when i was really blue.

Forsaken

2006-08-21T10:47:00.000-07:00

This post is dedicated to all my friends. Been thinking alot lately and i would like to just take some time off to thank everyone of you for stepping into my life and making it a much better place. I have to admit that i do take you all for granted at times but deep down i do love and cherish you all alot. Though there would be the certain distance between us all, but i will always keep you all in my heart. I miss you all and hope to see you guys soon. Let us await the fall of the first snowflake as promised.

Recently i realised the many things i have been doing for some people. I am not going to mention names as they should know who they are. At first i thought they were genuine and sincere, i regarded them as very close friends. I gave them my all, always on the look out and stand by for them. I try so hard to be in their clinque. I guess no one would ever remember me. Just another face that exsist somewhere.

Never appreciated, never noticed. I worked hard just to gain that little bit of recognition which i was never given. I'm getting really sick of this, and at times i thought to myself, "why do i even bother?"

Swollen Heels

2006-08-16T10:12:00.000-07:00

Things are not looking too great. I still am unable to break through the 2.10mins barrier for 800m. To make matters worse, my heels are kinda inflammed. Its all red and swollen, extremely painful when walking and running.

Training today was pretty much a killer

1.2km run as warm up

800m x 1 -- all out

400m x 2 -- 90% - 95%

200m x 4 -- all out

Felt really terrible after training, throbbing headache and quite nauseous *sounds like signs and symptoms of increased Intracraninal Pressure* Really felt like puking but yet again unable to expel whatever that is inside out. *prays hard that I would be able to improve over this one month before my competition*

Am knackered now but yet still got to finish up the role play script for my presentation meeting tomorrow.

Have mercy on my poor heels!

2006-08-16T10:11:00.000-07:00

Good job for the presentation

"Poster Boy"

2006-08-15T08:13:00.000-07:00

Better start updating a bit or alot of people will start to come after me for solving riddles to an not so updated blog. But hey, i mean it is pretty interesting yea? *don't any of you dare deny it...lol* Fought off monday blues and figured out i got tuesday blues to face....haha

So now i am known as the "poster boy" of School of Health Sciences. This nickname is not only given by my friends but also by some lecturers. *yikes* My picture for the SHS is placed at the main atrium of NYP. And of all the 10 over shots they took of me, they had to pick the one where i look worst in. I swore i saw the other pictures and they were so much better. To make matters worst, my uniform name tag was being enlarged!!! So now anyone who sees my poster would know me. * i so regretted doing the photoshoot.....why why??!!* Now even lecturers start to tease me....haha what have i gotten myself into this time.

My desperate attempt to capture my own shot....

National Day

2006-08-09T19:35:00.000-07:00

National Day is here... once again. The yearly affair never fails to create such a big commotion. Every year's national day parade seems similar to me. Watching once "live" is sufficent. I remembered the last time i attended the parade was in primary 5 which was compulsory. From then till now, maybe some performances seems slightly fanciful. I guess i am not much of a die-hard singapore fan.

Well training has been changed into a daily thing. As IVP (Inter-Varsity P.....i think it stands for polytechnic) draws near. We all have to withstand tough trainings to whip us into our top form. I often go to training with this face ----> ( -_- ) whenever i hear our "death sentence" (training programme). Got really bad cramps after training and difficulty getting out of bed the next day. Had to crawl to the toilet. But it's my final year, got to make this final race count.

(My playground)

Bounced back

2006-08-07T19:31:00.000-07:00

Alrite, at first i thought xanga was really good. Spent loads of time fixing up the blog skin on my account and found out that after the 15 days trial thingy, it get reverted back to it "Xanga classic" skin. Which is....equivalent to no skin at all. So here i am...again...Gonna have to make some slight adjustments before being able to blog once again.